I think there must be a gene missing among male DNA that pertains to memory. No amount of reminding, writing down, recording, telling or discussing seems to register events and appointments in my husband's brain. Sometimes it is even stuff HE planned and told me about at an earlier date. Not that I enjoy and organized life, truth be told I am quite open to change and last minute plans, but isn't it just part of being a grown person - to show up when others expect us? And to make plans ahead, there are some things I wonder if we would ever do or accomplish if men were left to arrange things...phones would never be installed (okay, maybe satellite TV would), gifts would never be bought, weddings never attended and forget vacations and travel plans entirely. Maybe this is just a feature (or oversight) in the DNA of MY man, but speaking to others it is a more common issue than not.
So, I have an appointment with a specialist next week to see if there might be some obstacles to the miracle I am hoping to acheive. I'm kind of nervous to divulge my personal habits and intimate practices to a complete stranger, even if he is a physician. Some firends tell me I should get used to it because it only gets more intrusive and personal from here on in. The good and bad news is that I've never had any of the false hopes that somee people experience - but in 11 years of marriage that also makes me wonder if there might be a reason. Hopefully waiting an extra long time will mean that my first glimmer of hope comes to fruition. Yes, waiting has allowed me to further my career, experience much, get closer to my spouse, enjoy my friends' children and treasure my neices and nephews...but it also has opened my eyes to all I feel I am missing out on. I feel it's a really touchy subject with some pals, I hate to bother them with my dilemma if they are dealing with greater beasts or have greater challenges to overcome than this, but to me, in my life, right now...this consumes me. We talk a lot about it now as a couple, both hoping for the best, discussing baby names and parenting we witness, but he's not nearly as impatient as I am. There is a real "ticking clock" phenomenem, this is not a figment - mine ticks to loudly it sometimes gives me a headache. Anger too, comes to the surface, with each mother I see who does not fully appreciate her child or whines about an unwelcome change in lifestyle.
